Thursday, May 8, 2014

My Almost Affair

Ok, I feel like I've been pretty open and honest here, but today, I'm going to just lay it all out there. I feel like marriages are under attack in this day and age, and I have a story that I am hoping someone can learn from. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just let y'all into the pretty places, the places where I have done everything right and you can learn from that? Well, no one can relate to perfect! So, here we go...

About fourteen years ago, Derek and I were in the process of building a home. I was a stay-at-home Mom with a two year old, and Derek was traveling about 150 days a year. Needless to say, I was a little lonely.

During the process of building our home, I began to spend quite a bit of time with our builder. He was the same age as me, attractive and very attentive to my needs. So, I began looking forward to our time together. I also made sure that I looked my best when I knew that I would be meeting with him. This is a slippery slope...

One day, as I was getting ready, I found myself thinking about this man and all of the sudden, I sensed the voice of the Holy Spirit saying that I needed to tell my best friend as well as Derek - THAT DAY. Whoa, that weighed heavy on my heart. I mean, I hadn't done anything really wrong, had I? Yikes, I had to expose a secret about myself to my two closest friends.

I am someone who, when I know that God has told me to do something, bless God, I am going to do it. So, I knew I had to tell Derek and my friend that day that I was enjoying the attention of a man who was not my husband!! How do you bring that up? I mean, over my chicken nuggets with our kids playing at Chick-filA, was I supposed to say, "by the way...."

I agonized over this all day and finally broke down and told my friend. I love how she responded to me. She didn't judge me, she prayed with me. When I told Derek, he didn't get upset, he also prayed with me.

It was amazing that, the moment I brought this issue to light, how a weight was lifted off of me and I really didn't think about that man any longer. I am so thankful for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to tell me that I needed to bring this issue into the light. Nasty things grow in the darkness. Once things are brought out into the open, they can be dealt with.

If there is something you are struggling with, confide in a friend. If you do not have a friend who you feel is close enough to handle such a situation, find a counselor. I truly believe that if I had not brought my struggle into the light, it would have grown into something that would have devastated my family.

Let's live our lives in the open. Let's let people into the hurts and struggles we have so they can help us along the way. No one is meant to walk this life alone. Invite people into your struggles, and I believe those struggles with have less power over you once you take those steps. True freedom is found through community.

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